Evening News on Aug 29:
"There is an ancient by-law in York, which has never been repealed, 'legally' allowing people to shoot Scotsmen with a bow and arrow within the city walls.
In a bid to improve Anglo-Scottish relations, and raise money for a charity, a couple from York have asked York residents to sign a 'peace treaty'. Each signatory must promise to never shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow, and to make Scots feel welcome in York."
From comedians in the Fringe:
"My body has changed so much since I have been here. My stomach is fat from the food and booze, and my legs are skinny from walking up all the hills. I've decided that ET wasn't from out of space, he was from Edinburgh." - Wil Anderson
"Why do I always freak out when an unknown number calls my mobile? And I don't mean numbers that haven't been invented yet. Like tenty eight." - Dan Clarke
"When I say my body clock is ticking, people hit the floor."
- Shappi Korsandi
"Ever been to the Vatican? There's a McDonald's right opposite.
You are sitting in McDonald's enjoying your hamburger and you are forced to stare at this annoying franchise that has been responsible for poverty, genocide and 2000 years of kiddy-fiddling." - Rich Hall
"I can't eat free-range chickens. The problem is I can taste the hope."
- Jamie Douglas
8 comments:
Regarding the York thingy: it's not actually any people that can shoot the Scots. You need to be born inside the York city walls to be allowed to do the hunting. Taking into account that the city hospital has been outside the walls for a while, there are (unfortunately?) not that many people who can take advantage of that law.
On the other hand, the same law -- as far I can remember -- requires that people practice archery every Sunday after the church service...
ET could have also been from Seattle. Although Edinburgh people (is there a single word for this?) probably make a better job with the booze than Seattleites do.
Seattleites? Is that an actual word?
And no, there is no handy moniker for the people of Edinburgh.
Does everyone have to practice archery then, or only the ones who can use the skills to shoot Scots?
Anyone who is born inside the city walls, if I recall correctly. So, first some practice and then some Scots (or maybe rather some Scotch...)
Seattleite is probably a word made up by Americans, so you can judge for yourself whether that qualifies as being an actual word or not (don't bother posting your answer :-)).
I love the word, though. Kind of like satellite, but not quite. I also like how it is impossible to know how people from a given city are supposed to be called. Houstonian and New Yorker sound natural, but how about Chicagoan or Detroiter?
Sorry about multiple comments, but I just found a related quiz. Some of the correct answers for Biritish cities are so funny.
Got 8/10 wrong. Guessed Cairo and Damascos correct. Damn I'm good.
Liverpudlian was the only one I knew (I think you can guess why). Probably I made the right guess on some of the others.
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